Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Limericks

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

What follows are my entries to Ben Schott’s Limerick contest in this weekend’s NY Times. He gives bonus marks for those using any of the following words:

Birthers · Darwin · Surge · Olympian · Swine Flu · Clunker · Gubernatorial · Stimulus · iPhone · Madoff · Google · Blackmail · Uranium · Irony · People’s Republic of China · Extradition · Congress · Wikipedia · Euthanasia

My entries:

The Birthers would have us believe
Obama, when he was conceived
His mom was in Kenya
With such an agenda
She took more than nine months to leave

The People’s Republic of China
Why can’t it be gentl-ah and kind-ah?
Chairman Mao was a brute
He gave not a hoot
How many were sent to the grind-ah

Schott’s Vocab Is Splendid Because
He wants us to make no faux paux
“Use ‘Darwin’ and ’surge’
But don’t get the urge
To send me an x-rated clause”

What a con man was Bernie Madoff
As with people’s money he made off
Now he sits in a cell
And if he behaves well
He will still not get any time off

As Polanski fights extradition
He appears to show no contrition
He’s a dirty old man
Who’s been on the lam
Who decent would back his position?

An attempt to blackmail Dave Letterman
Was made by a man named Joe Halderman
Joe needed the money
Knew one of Dave’s “honeys”
So which of the two is the better man?

Obama as Icarus

To help make his hometown Oh-lym-pian
Obama did fly to Co-pin-hagin
He flew too near the sun
‘Twas Rio who won
Now he’s lost his wings, too bad for him!

My Tom-Swifties

Monday, June 8th, 2009

“Schott’s Vocab” is a column in the New York Times. This past weekend, there was a contest for readers to submit “Tom Swifties“, with extra credit for those that dealt with current events. I seem to have made the finals, with

It’s D-Day, said Ike to Norm and Dee.

Mine was the only winner that dealt with current events. Here are my other entries. Some are in rather bad taste, I say raunchily.

Sonia’s sort of my oar, said Tom as he rowed along.

The Obamas stiffed the French President, said Sartre rather cozily.

Obama visited Buchenwald, said Tom concentratedly.

It was pro-life to kill Tiller, Tom said rather tackily.

Obama made demands on Israel, Tom said unsettlingly.

Barack met Mubarak, Tom said redundantly

On OctoRush. The March 23rd Cover of The New Yorker.

Thursday, March 26th, 2009
The cover:

CV1_TNY_3_23_09_09.indd

The letter I sent:

I was wondering if you had satirical covers back in the 1930’s depicting Josef Goebbels or Father Coughlin in a humorous light, because that’s the group Rush Limbaugh belongs to. He is not a crybaby or even a big crybaby, nor even an entertainer, as he claims. He is a master at spreading the “big lie”, and the more publicity he gets – good or bad – the worse he gets, and the worse we all are for it, even his admiring ditto-heads. Cheney as Halloween pumpkin? Fine. After all, he was the Vice-President. But Limbaugh? He should be ostracized as the pariah he truly is. His ego needs a diet even more than he does.

 

I Weigh In on Jim Cramer vs. Jon Stewart.

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

Here is a post on E. J.’s precinct at the Washington Post on March 13th, and my response.

“So, who’s to blame for the financial mess we’re in? Jon Stewart, the host of the Daily Show, called out CNBC, airing a viral video of a number of mistakes and overly rosy predictions made by the network as banks failed and the economy turned south. Jim Cramer, the host of “Mad Money,” shot back at Stewart, and the two finally met on the Daily Show last night. As Howard Kurtz wrote, “Jon Stewart wasn’t trying to be funny. Jim Cramer wasn’t trying to be obnoxious.” As with Stewart’s infamous Crossfire appearance (when he said “We need help from the media and they’re hurting us”), Stewart’s explicit goal was to criticize what he perceived as a failure of the media, with genuine anger and without satire. And Cramer sat and apologized. Did you watch the show? Do you think Stewart’s right that CNBC is part of the problem? Or has his popularity gone to his head? Posted by Alex Remington “

My Response:

Cramer seems to have forgotten that he did have a rant in, I believe, August of 2007 about the unfolding subprime crisis, and that people should “look out the window” and see what was going on. Stewart didn’t play that clip. He brought down Crossfire, and now he’s targeting CNBC. He got into this because he was irritated when Rick Santelli didn’t appear on his show, cancelling at the last minute.

Bob Dole joked that the best place to get news these days is from comedy shows. A sorry state of affairs. I don’t see why CNBC should be singled out.

Robert Samuelson, with his distorted and “ideological” columns, has done far more damage than Cramer could ever do. His column in the current Newsweek is a good example. But Stewart can’t go after him, because that would take a lot of work and probably bore most people.

The real problem is not with the gang at CNBC, but with the “columnist kings” who can say whatever they want and are answerable to one. Another good example is Charles Krauthammer. (See the comment I posted about his March 6th column.) Michael Kinsley, on the other hand, always has sound arguments and doesn’t screw with the facts.

That Cartoon. An Update

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Here is the statement from Rupert Murdoch in Tuesday’s New York Post about “that cartoon”.

“As the Chairman of the New York Post, I am ultimately responsible for what is printed in its pages. The buck stops with me.
Last week, we made a mistake. We ran a cartoon that offended many people. Today I want to personally apologize to any reader who felt offended, and even insulted.
Over the past couple of days, I have spoken to a number of people and I now better understand the hurt this cartoon has caused. At the same time, I have had conversations with Post editors about the situation and I can assure you – without a doubt – that the only intent of that cartoon was to mock a badly written piece of legislation. It was not meant to be racist, but unfortunately, it was interpreted by many as such.
We all hold the readers of the New York Post in high regard and I promise you that we will seek to be more attuned to the sensitivities of our community.”

I believe him. After all, the main author of the Stimulus package was Nancy Pelosi, so the chimp, in the cartoonist’s mind, was akin to one of those monkeys I referred to in my earlier post. It was too “overtly racist”, if you will, to refer to Obama. However, the key phrase in Murdoch’s statement is “sensitivities”. Old racist stereotypes die hard, and they are still alive in many people’s minds.